Judge William Adams beat his then 16 year old daughter, it is news that has spread across the internet and is news in other countries. The newest shock in this story however is that no charges will be filed against him.
Tim Jayroe, police chief in Adams’s town of Rockport. “We believe that there was a criminal offence involved and that there was substantial evidence to indicate that and under normal circumstances … a charge could have been made,” Jayroe said.
So while the Texas judge is standing by his statements that he did nothing wrong, the legal system does not agree but can do nothing about it.
“In my mind I haven’t done anything wrong other than discipline my child after she was caught stealing,” Adams said. “And I did lose my temper but I’ve since apologised.”
So it is some how ok to lose your tempter and beat your child but then turn around and say it was a spanking and just discipline. It is sickening to me personally but a story I hear over and over, parents who justify hurting their children in the name of discipline. Some day it is ok if they don’t leave marks, other say it is ok to use objects but just over clothed butts, other say it is ok when children are young but not when they are teenagers. So many excuses… I can’t see past the fact though that people are trying to justify hurting children for what ever reason. They say they are not like him. Heck, he says he didn’t do anything wrong, sounds like the story the other spankers/beaters share to me.
Did you know in a hand full of states it is still legal for schools to hit children? Many states don’t seem to have solid laws about beating children or what defines legal spanking. How can a child prove they are being hurt without videos like this? Could a 4 year old set such a thing up? Why must we wait till the child has broken bones before standing up for our most innocent?
I have to remind myself that I know some amazing parents that spank as a parenting tool. I know many more who are amazing and don’t. We all have a right to raise our children but I think we need more education in it. So many parents who spank don’t know the facts. Don’t know it can do more harm than good. They don’t know there are other ways that do work as well if not better than physically harming a child.
Before you share and excuse with me, please research your choice so we can talk about this on the same level. “My parents did it and I turned out ok.” is not a fact and just because your “ok” does not mean they could not have done better, does not mean you can’t do better. I am angry about this topic, it is close to my heart, the sound of that belt in the video as Judge William Adams beat his disabled daughter sends me down a memory lane I wish I did not have and I wish on no one. My children see other kids in public being hit and they get upset, sometimes cry, sometimes even try and save the child. I think we need to learn from our children, hitting is not ok.
The following is something I don’t think enough parents are willing to admit to. It is from a page listing the top 10 reasons not to spank. You can read it all HERE
5. HITTING DOES NOT IMPROVE BEHAVIOR
Many times we have heard parents say, “The more we spank the more he misbehaves.” Spanking makes a child’s behavior worse, not better. Here’s why. Remember the basis for promoting desirable behavior: The child who feels right acts right. Spanking undermines this principle. A child who is hit feels wrong inside and this shows up in his behavior. The more he misbehaves, the more he gets spanked and the worse he feels. The cycle continues. We want the child to know that he did wrong, and to feel remorse, but to still believe that he is a person who has value.
The Cycle of Misbehavior
Misbehavior Worse behavior Spanking Decreased self-esteem, anger
One of the goals of disciplinary action is to stop the misbehavior immediately, and spanking may do that. It is more important to create the conviction within the child that he doesn’t want to repeat the misbehavior (i.e, internal rather than external control). One of the reasons for the ineffectiveness of spanking in creating internal controls is that during and immediately after the spanking, the child is so preoccupied with the perceived injustice of the physical punishment (or maybe the degree of it he’s getting) that he “forgets” the reason for which he was spanked. Sitting down with him and talking after the spanking to be sure he’s aware of what he did can be done just as well (if not better) without the spanking part. Alternatives to spanking can be much more thought-and-conscience-provoking for a child, but they may take more time and energy from the parent. This brings up a main reason why some parents lean toward spanking—it’s easier.
The hard thing is often the right thing. Please do not do the easy thing at the detriment of your children. You love them, I am sure. We can all do better.