I must admit that my husband helps around the house a lot. He does more cooking than I do even. He changes diapers even! There really is nothing he will not do if asked. He however forgets a lot, or rather procrastinates like most of us. So I left him a note. Then I posted the note to his facebook wall, and it got some laughs. A short while later he got the pet cages clean.
We have very large sugar glider cages, think large book cases. They are hard for me to move and clean considering my Fibromyalgia, specially times like now when it is flaring. So this is something I needed him to do, since last Saturday. It is Wednesday…. Something had to be done.
It worked! I don’t being negative would have, so I went with funny! Really, he does so much and I adore him. He didn’t need negative. He thankfully got the joke and found it funny, on his facebook wall and everything.
Over the years I have felt sorrow for many wives who get little to no help from their husbands. I never understand it. Often it is not that the husband has just stopped helping, it is that he never helped in the first place. I wonder why they married such a man. Did they know he was like this before hand? Did they live together first? Did he change? I hope to raise my children with the mindset that who they marry is who they get and not to expect the other person to change just because you marry them, or because you have children, or choose to stay home to raise them. In my experience, watching that is, this doesn’t tend to happen. Not without something drastic.
I am no marriage expert, but I have been married 14 years. Nothing drastic has happened in our marriage so much as times of deep honesty. Nothing tends to change when there is shame involved, or guilt being thrown. Letting the emotion spill though has helped my marriage so very much over the years. Above all I think honesty and openness is what works for us. With some funny times as well. We have to be creative in our marriage, in our homes. I try to peacefully parent, and I try to peacefully communicate with my husband as well.
I know I am really blessed and it is not due to being smarter, knowing more, or trying harder. It has to do with the fact that I married my best friend, the right person for me, and we are both on the same page about communicating more often than not. I can’t remember us yelling at one another, though we bicker like crazy from time to time. He has yet to sleep on the sofa though so I think that is a good sign! I would give this man anything in the world I possibly could. I adore him. He loves me, and doesn’t expect me to change. He loves me for who I am and that is so very rare. He loves me even when I pick on him in front of our friends online. We are crazy for one another. I wish everyone had this. If you don’t right now, I hope you do soon. Everyone deserves unconditional love.