I am not a perfect Blogger!
Who would have thought right?
If you read my blog you know this all too well to be true. I don’t have the spotless house, I don’t have a spotless blog, and nothing about my spelling or style is perfect in any way shape or form. It is real, and not polished to dazzle you. I am real like you.
It can be maddening to see these perfect photos of these perfectly clean and manicured homes with every toy in it’s place and fresh flowers on the table. Real life doesn’t look like that for 99% of the mothers I know and for the 1% that it does… well that home had a house keeper every single day!
Let me tell you about my day. I got up at NOON. My children are away with the grand parents for two weeks and I having a hard time with it. Staying up late as normal but today I just let it all wash over me and slept feeling like I had little motivation to do anything without my children around. I was a bit depressed honestly. I got up brushed my hair, checked on the pets, pouted about my lack of children, and sat down to check e-mail munch on fudge I need to review here still, and had soda I would normally not even have in the house if the kids where here. I still had a T-Shirt on. Just a T-shirt.
At about 3pm I managed to pull myself together enough to skype with my darlings. I made sure not to let it be seen I was still not dressed for the day. It was so nice to talk to them but I found I was a bit grumpy, sad about them being so far away and my lack of motivation. After talking with them I set my mind to do some cleaning. The first stack of books I tried to move I dropped on my foot. Yes, I have stacks of books in a few places around the house! I really need to part with many of them already but I do so love them. I think I am attached to stacks of books honestly.
So there I was trying not to cuss while jumping a bit on one foot when I remembered no one was home but me so I let the swearing tare out of my body with the force of days feeling like I have no purpose with out my kids and how pathetic it feels to admit it. If these walls had ears they would have wished to be deaf I tell you. I felt a bit better though! Not better enough to clean however. I abandoned the pile of books and wondered into my room to sort boxes. Being a blog reviewer means I get boxes, lots and lots of boxes. Thank goodness for recycling else I would feel very very badly about them all. Some days I swear I need a whole room just to organize all the boxes. I didn’t get far in my task before the phone rang. My children where up north and scared because a storm blew out the power there and it was hailing. The storm suddenly blew strong down here in Maryland too, though I did not lose power. We talked for a bit and they calmed down. I set them to doing some home work with their Meme. Then the front door to my house blew open. I thought it was closed. With just a T-Shirt on I had to run over and close it. It was past 4pm now and really I knew I had to get dressed already. I went to my room to find something fitting to my mood and the darn door blew open again! Thankfully no neighbors caught me looking like such a hot mess as my niece in law, my age she is, would say. The storm hit hard and made me jump. I was scared and complaining in my head and then on facebook about it. I know if my children had been home I would not have been scared, I would have been their rock and been too busy helping them deal that I would have hardly noticed the storm at all.
I am a different person without them. They make me stronger, better. I know your thinking what others have already told me, I will make a horrible empty nester some day! I am worried about that too.
Eventually my husband got home late from work and we set to Phase 2 of the kids room make over. Steam Cleaning the rugs and Washing down walls. So. Much. Crayon art! I really should have taken photos of it all, it might have made some of you feel better about your own children’s rooms and if nothing else some other Moms like me might actually like it. It all washed off. Two red stains in the carpet though are still bugging me. I will keep working on them however!
Out to the hardware shops husband and I went to get some painting supplies. Branches down all over because of the storm that passed. Two stops and then home. Phase 3 started, I am testing a green color on the wall tonight. Not sure how it will dry or if it is the right color for the job. We shall see! Will post photos soon of course. Spent some time on the phone helping my Dad with an online purchase, he is trying to get more into computers and he knows I am happy geek Mommy so he calls for help. Later he had my oldest daughter skype me to help him with another computer issue. Got to love skype!
Mean while the stacks of books, mostly hard covers are still trying to take over the house. Boxes are still adding chaos to my bed room, and I am back in that same T-Shirt at 2am posting this. Who knows when I will get dressed tomorrow. Maybe I just won’t! I can paint without getting dressed right?
As you can see, I am not perfect. Far from it. I might be a bit like you in that way. I don’t think anyone is perfect and I don’t want to act like I am. I do not think it helps anyone and I want to be helpful. So learn from my mistakes or celebrate with me when we figure out what small things work. I like to share. Most of all I just want other mothers to know they are not alone and that they are enough if they just keep doing what they do, learning and growing and helping their little ones learn and grow too.