I must confess something. I am feeling like I am letting everyone down these days. My fibromyalgia pain is just so bad and I think the depression is kicking me hard in the gut. I can’t seem to get a handle on things right now. We had planned to go out as a family with a friend to the DC Book Festival this weekend but I was already hurting so badly I just couldn’t picture how much worse it would be. I can’t do normal things. I can’t keep up and right now I can not even fake that I am ok. Thankfully my family and friend understood but I don’t think they should have to. I wish I didn’t hold other back.
It took me three days to do a science lab with the kids and I am passing the next one off to my husband as it will be out in the woods. There is a laundry mountain. I am emotional and tired and sick of being sick. Things are not perfect here I promise. I am behind in editing my sisters wedding photos that she rightly wants so badly partly because I am really hard on myself about how I look in them and how I failed to get a lot of the shots I wanted to get. I am no professional though and begged her to get one but she has faith in me. Silly girl. She deserves amazing photos of her special day. I am doing them, I promise, just slow and it is a bit hard on my ego.
For the most part these days I am feeling like one big fibro fail! We have a big field trip this Friday. I have to be up to going, I can’t let the kids and the co-op down. Just thinking of it though…. I know it will be a very painful day for me. I need to find my way back to a mood that will help me fake being ok so as not to ruin anyones day you know?
Wishing you better days,
A Little Crunchy Mommy