When a child dies why are strangers so quick to judge?

It has happened again, a friends child is gone. It isn’t my place to share the details, needless to say, it is heart breaking. Another baby story though hit the news though, and as the parents want to warn parents, it is safe to say they are ok with us talking about it to share awareness. The Washington mother put her 7 month old son to bed as always with 2 blankets. Come morning she found his head wrapped in one of them and stuck in the crib railings and he was gone. The family was shattered. Now she just wants to tell parents, to warn them, never put your baby to bed with blankets.

And then the judgments come…  as if that family doesn’t have enough to deal with. Reading the social media attack on the mother is another kind of tragic. It happens though time and again. Why?

When ever I see tragic things like this I notice something, people seem to tend to judge to cover up their fear…. I think they do it to some how mentally protect themselves from the truth, they do it to lie to themselves… “It could never happen to my. It could never happen to my child.” so they tell everyone how it could never happen to them. They seem to scream it into the universe or IN ALL CAPS ONLINE SO PEOPLE KNOW THEY ARE SERIOUS! “I would never let…. I would never do….” and I think it has little to do with the family who lost the child and everything to do with the lie some people have to tell themselves so they can sleep at night. The fact is, they know it, we know it, it could happen to them. In a blink of an eye, it could be them. Some people can’t handle that, so they lash out.

I wish I could protect the grieving from the further trauma other people cause them. Perhaps it is human nature to do as so many people do, judge “not me”, though I hope not. I think more so it is our society. We don’t honor the grieving process and we tend to deny reality. People want others to get over something tragic and move on and they don’t want to hear it, they don’t want to deal with someone hurting never mind help them through it or at least honor the real state of being those people are in.

I hope those suffering loss can separate the horrible things people can say and do with what is really going on in those people, it isn’t truly about the people who lost, it is about the seemingly heartless people and their insecurities, denial, and fear.

Wishing every comfort to those who have lost and grieve. 

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