From one small house to another – Holding on to what matters!

This not so little military family of 7 moved yet again and honestly I have lost count of how many moves this now makes in the last 19 years, over a dozen though! We moved from a small cute house in the city, one not safe, (given the break in when we first moved in […]

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Mom Sanity – My tiny little secret vacations!

I adore my life more than I could ever express. Amazing husband, Amazing Kids, and all healthy and happy. There is stress though, making ends meet for a large homeschooling family basically on a military budget. My personal healthy issues and lasting grief and anxiety are also challenging. Some days the basics get to me….. […]

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What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Dying. Part 5


Part 4 One of the hardest parts of my Dads dying days was the pain. Even with all the medication he hurt a lot. We would help him move and have to turn him and he would say ow ow ow. It was the only thing he could really say the last few days. It was […]

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What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Dying. Part 1

Dad and Mom 2

Dear friends, This post shall not be short and for that I am sorry. It has taken me 2 months now to gather the courage to write it, 2 months to pull myself together enough to look back on all that happened and try to put it into words that will perhaps make sense to […]

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Desperately clinging to every moment with Dad – Pancreatic Cancer

Dad and Family zoomed

As family and friends and so many readers already know, my father was told he has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I strongly believe my fathers doctor missed this cancer months ago but that is a post for another day. The fact is, it is through out his body and my Dad went from 200lbs to […]

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Life with our 15 week old + 4 More! Keep Calm And….

15 Weeks Breastfeeding

      I have to be honest, she is our 5th and the most discontent baby. She cries so so much and we don’t just let her cry it out. It takes everything we have to help her and keep our sanity. How much longer can this go on? She will be a generally […]

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Update on my Dad and his pancreatic cancer.


Today was day 1 of his second round of Chemo. It is certainly hard on his body, he feel asleep on his lunch tray with my mom during treatment. I can picture them snoring together. It is hard on the heart that I am not there right now. We planned to be there but we […]

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Counting blessings this October


      With my Fathers Cancer news a few weeks ago my head has been spinning honestly and seeing clearly has been hard. The shock and sorrow comes in waves but so to does the realization that none of us are promised tomorrow so we must make the most of Today. October is a […]

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Sharing the Reality – My Father suddenly has terminal cancer.


I try to live an open book life here on my blog, after all it was first created in 2007 as a way for family and friends to keep up with us as we move around the country on the military life adventure. Sometimes it is hard though keeping it real because it means facing […]

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Confession of a breastfeeding and worried Mother.


Mommy Confession I really wish my baby had not been born 5 weeks early. I know it could have been worse. I know I am lucky. I can’t help it though, the worry is so hard on the heart. I wish I knew why she came at 35 weeks. The placenta was the largest and […]

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Breastfeeding Struggles With Our Near Term Baby

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Rory was born at 35 weeks and 1 Day. She was a wonderful 7lbs and 15oz, 20 inches long. This is large for the gestational age but the dates are correct and her weight it the result of my diabetes even though it was well controlled for 90% of the pregnancy. This was the start […]

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30 Weeks Pregnant and Dreaming of Birth Control


  Is Pregnancy Really Beautiful? Once upon a time I thought pregnancy was the best adventure I could ever be on and I loved it, every moment. I loved it so much that being a surrogate twice has been 2 of the things in my life I think dearly about and am so proud of […]

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Announcing of baby is a boy or a girl!


  How should one announce if baby is a boy or a girl? There is a rather new trend that I love, Gender reveal parties! Life is short and I really believe we should take what ever good reasons we can to celebrate and share our joy together. As I still haven’t really found a […]

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We are expecting!


  What a surprise! I just turned 35 and our “baby” is now 4.5 and we have 4 children of our own and 2 amazing surrogate daughters too! We had thought our family complete. Oh goodness… what a shock this was! With my health we didn’t even think this was possible. As a friend pointed […]

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Is 35 old?


  In a world where people are living older and older these days, is 35 old? On my birthday today I found myself contemplating my life and future. I feel old in so many way, mostly because fibromyalgia and other auto immune issues. I don’t know what life is like at this age without the […]

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Are you having this moment each day or failing yourself?

   Being Happy with Your Life I sit outside in the ending heat with the sun dropping lower and lower in the sky. The day is almost over and I find myself so content. I think about this contentment almost every evening like this, out in the yard, watering the garden, watching the kids play. […]

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Laura Bailey Peetros


Laura Bailey Peetros 1964-2014   When you really get down to it and think objectively… 90% of what people get all hot and bothered about…. Just really doesn’t matter that much in the grand scheme of life.. Don’t sweat the small or even medium stuff.. It’s not worth it. –Laura Bailey Peetros   She was […]

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Is there a time limit on Grief?


  It has been over three months now and finally I don’t dream about my Memere anymore. I still wake up thinking about her often though, like to today. I take a deep breath these mornings and try and remember some of the last lovely times I had with her. I end p thinking about […]

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A family that looks very different than most and very lucky!

It is hard to put the last days into words but you know I will try and I love to write and I love to share. I am very blessed and lucky to be the surrogate mother for two amazing men. One reciently passed away and my family traveled to support his husband and our […]

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Mommy still learning life lessons


  Another death of someone I love has had me thinking deeply about life. Each passing has changed me, broken my heart, and forced me to grow. The fact is that everyone we know and love will some day pass and chances are the longer we are lucky to live the more loved ones we […]

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